in the land where no one smiles
by LawliPop
Summary: Blessed is He who reads aloud the words of the Prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written therein; for The Time is near..." KiraxL, LxLight, slight BxL.
1. Miracles

_Summary: "Blessed is He who reads aloud the words of the Prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written therein; for The Time is near..."_

_Alternative (more humorous) Summary: "Life isn't easy when your best friend is a serial killer."_

_Future Pairings: BxL (sort of, but not really), LxLight, KiraxL._

_Disclaimer: Death Note is (c) Ohba and Obata.

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_Lawli: Oh deary, how can I explain this one? It just popped into my head the other day when I was reading over my script during play practice, and just refused to leave until I had it down on paper. _

_Basically, this is a semi-au fanfiction which follows the basic canon plotline... Light finds the Death Note, becomes Kira, etc... - but it has several key differences. L is NOT the detective in charge of bringing Kira to justice, he is Light's best friend. This intro chapter pretty much serves only to show how Light and L first met and how their relationship strengthened over the years. It starts off when they are children and ends when they are in their mid-teens. Also, Beyond Birthday makes an appearance in this fic as L's older brother (another AU feature, because I just couldn't resist adding him in here)._

_Without further delay, here is the fic... Please read and review!_

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_Yagami Light, age eight.  
__L Lawliet, age nine._

The park was nearly deserted when Yagami Light arrived. There were a few children playing on the monkey bars, and several parents standing together next to the park benches; his mother went off and joined them as soon as she saw them, keeping close enough so that she could see where her son went. The neighborhood they lived in was a fairly small and quiet one; everyone seemed to know each other, and the park was hardly ever crowded.

He had his own spot in the park, a spot he would always run off to whenever his mother brought him out. It was nothing exciting – just an old, rickety swing set which had been abandoned by all others ever since the new swing set had been built near the picnic benches on the other side of the park – but for some reason he loved it. It was ill-kept - covered with spider webs, overrun with weeds, and rusting – but he hardly cared. It made no difference if the spot was dirty or clean, because it was in that spot where Light first encountered his best friend.

The boy had been sitting in a small clump of snow-sprinkled grass; just lying there peacefully as if he hadn't a care in the world. He appeared to be Light's age, perhaps a few years older but definitely not any younger. His hair was long – an odd, inky black which contrasted perfectly with the surrounding snow – and over the top of his head was a white tuke which looked as if it were a size too big for him. He was donned in a ragged long-sleeved shirt which was plainly colored the same shade of his hat. Light couldn't see his eyes, for they were concealed behind thick, dark lashes.

As Light watched him sleep, entranced by the gentle rising and falling of his chest, he noticed another weird thing; around the boy's neck was a necklace made entirely out of dark red beads. And not just any beads, either; they were rosary beads – a sign of the Catholic religion. The boy was a foreigner.

Light stared at the rosary as if it were the strangest thing he'd ever seen in his life, wondering how it was that a person could wear such a branding item on their person.

He was only a child, but already Light was skeptical about the existence of divine beings. If God truly exists, he'd always thought, he wouldn't allow such suffering to befall his people. No God would be cruel enough to allow his own children to be mercilessly slaughtered by each other. If there was a God, he would not let criminals and madmen run free; he would bring forth Justice.

The boy had obviously been brainwashed, most likely by his overly religious parents, so out of compassion Light knelt down before him and placed his hands on the boy's shoulders to remove the necklace.

However, before he could even touch the rosary beads he was stopped by the feeling of someone watching him. Light glanced up and sucked in a quick breath, feeling a chill wash down his spine at the complete and utter void of the boy's wide-awake eyes. Immediately he released his hands from the boy's shoulders.

The boy stared at him blankly, tilting his head to the side. "Who are you?" he asked, in a voice no higher than a whisper. Light almost didn't hear it.

"Light... Yagami... Yagami Light," Light stammered, finding it difficult to focus, even on something as menial as introducing himself, when he could feel those unnerving eyes boring into him. "Who are you?"

The boy shifted from his spot on the ground, rolling onto his side before pushing himself up and into an awkward sitting position. "I am L," he said, meeting Light's gaze evenly and extending a hand in his direction. Light stared at the offered appendage, unsure of what to do with it. "This is how we greet one another in England," L explained as he grasped Light's hand and shook it firmly.

Light wrenched his hand away after allowing L to shake it for several seconds. "This is not England," he pointed out.

"I know," L said, smiling and bringing his hand to his face. He popped a finger into his mouth and began to suck on it, all the while continuing to speak to. "I just moved here a few days ago," he told Light.

Light nodded in understanding. That explained the Western handshake, as well as the rosary beads around L's neck. "Do you like it?"

L frowned thoughtfully. "No," he decided quickly. "I miss Winchester. I knew people there. I don't know anyone here." His eyes found Light's again and locked on them; Light found himself unable to look away, even though he wanted to. "Where do you live, Light-kun?"

Light blinked at the question. "N-not far from here," he replied, pointing to the left as if his house would suddenly appear out of thin air. "About two blocks."

"Me too," L said, also pointing to the left.

They were neighbors, then – at least, they almost were. "We should play sometime," Light suggested, smiling. He always did like surrounding himself with friends, and L was intriguing, so it would be fun to get to know him.

L nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, that would be nice."

A silence fell between them after that. Light shifted uncomfortably, his eyes wandering aimlessly, focusing for a moment on the rusted swing set before flickering over to a patch of green grass that grew above the several inches of snow. "Um..." he began, not quite sure what to say next. He had a question in mind, but he didn't know if it would be rude of him to ask or not. Light silently debated with himself before deciding that he would ask anyways.

"What are you doing out here by yourself?" he wondered aloud.

"Oh," L gasped, as if suddenly realizing something. He peeked over his shoulder before standing up and taking a look around the area. When he was unable to find what he was searching for, he returned to his squatting position. "I was waiting for Beyond. We were playing Hide-and-Seek, he was supposed to come and look for me... I guess I fell asleep and he gave up."

"Who's Beyond?"

L reached under his tuke to scratch the top of his head. When he removed his hand, the loose hat fell back down, falling over his eyes and partially concealing them from Light's view – something Light was silently grateful for, as L's black-hole eyes freaked him out a little bit.

"He's my brother," L answered. "Can I go over to your house?"

Light appeared taken aback by the question. "What? W-why?" he wanted to know.

L shrugged his shoulders dispassionately and began to dust snow off of the grass in front of his feet. Light noticed for the first time that adorning L's feet were nothing more than a beat-up pair of sneakers that also looked as though they were too big to fit him.

"You said we should play together. Can we play at your house?"

Light glanced over to where his mother was standing with her friends and then gave an indifferent shrug of the shoulders, his eyes falling shut. "I guess so."

L was on his feet in an instant, and before Light even knew what was happening L was holding his hand and practically dragging him away.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Light walked home from school with L every day. They rarely saw each other during the school day (with the exception being the fifteen minute recess break and forty-five minute lunch period) due to being placed in separate classes, so after school they tried to spend as much time together as possible.

Light was actually surprised when he discovered how much he liked being around L. He figured, because their looks differed so drastically, their personalities would not mix; but he was actually quite wrong. He and L were very much alike. They were both exceptionally smart for their ages, they both liked sports (though L preferred to watch them rather than play them, most of the time), they both enjoyed playing board games, and they both loved playing _Cops and Robbers _(though playing this game often resulted in an argument between them, as they both preferred to play the role of Cop as opposed to that of the Robber).

On school nights, L stayed at Light's house until six-o-clock. They did their homework together and then played games. Sometimes L stayed for dinner; most of the time he didn't. On Saturday night, unless they were too busy, L typically slept over the Yagami house; he and Light would make a tent over Light's bed and sleep under it together, telling each other stories or just talking.

Light liked to talk about what it would be like to be a King.

"_If I was a King, I would make you my Queen," he told L, who turned red and wrinkled his nose at the title. _

"_Why would Light-kun want to do that?"_

"_Because a Queen always has to stay with her King, no matter what; and you're my best friend, so I would want you to have to be the one to stay with me no matter what."_

"_No matter what..." L brought a finger to his lips and bit down on it. "I would stay with Light-kun no matter what, if he became a King."_

L liked to talk about candy and desserts, as they were what his favorite foods consisted of.

"_Light-kun is an apple pie," L said, earning a curious stare. "Apple pie is a lot of people's favorite dessert. It's a comfort food, and Light-kun is a comfort to me."_

"_You're so weird, L."_

_L made no move to negate the claim. He scooted closer to his friend, and the material of the 'tent' above them rippled slightly his L's hair brushed against the top of it. "What kind of candy am I?"_

"_You..?" Light gave his friend a quick once-over before snorting. "You're nothing but a Sucker."_

_L nodded his head in agreement._

Light did not enjoy spending time in L's house – in fact, he avoided going there altogether if he could. Always he insisted that L come over to his house, or that they go to the park or some other place that they liked. L never questioned him, and Light was thankful for that; he wouldn't know how to explain that he was scared to even set foot inside L's house.

It wasn't the house itself that bothered him, but rather, L's eighteen-year-old brother, Beyond. Appearance-wise, Beyond looked none too threatening; he looked almost like what Light imagined as an older version of L, with several differences including a narrower face and a shaper, bonier physique. He was always very polite, too, whenever Light happened to run into him.

But there was something about Beyond that reminded Light distinctly of a poisonous insect; oftentimes he found himself comparing L's brother to a Black Widow Spider, especially when Beyond's creepy black eyes would flash red under the light. He didn't feel comfortable around the young man, though he could never tell L this.

L adored his brother, for some reason.

"_Hey, L?"_

_L looked up from the strawberry shortcake he was halfway through demolishing in order to give his friend his full attention. "Light-kun?"_

_Light wrinkled his nose at the crumbs that fell from L's mouth as he spoke, but he tried not focus on L's bad table manners for long. "I was wondering... why do you wear that rosary all the time? Is your family religious?"_

_By family, Light meant L's older brother. Light did not know much about L's past – L seemed unwilling to share a majority of the time – but he did know that L's parents were both dead, which was why he lived alone with his brother. _

"_No... Beyond bought it for me, though." He smiled and brought a hand to the rosary, touching it gently, fingering one of the blood red beads. They reminded Light of Beyond's creepy eyes. "So it's special."_

- - - - - - - - - - - -

L flinched as Light grazed his hand gently over the patch of bruising skin.

"It hurts, Light-kun," L said in his soft whisper-voice, his dark eyes meeting those of his friend.

Light held L's gaze for a minute, and that was all he could stand before he had to turn his head away. It had been years since they first met, and they were good friends now – best friends, actually – but L's eyes never failed to give Light the chills. Light felt guilty, sometimes, at not being able to maintain eye contact with his friend for long periods of time.

Slowly nodding his head, Light allowed his hand to drop. "What happened?" he asked.

L brought a hand to his lip, delaying his response by chewing absently on his fingernail. "Nothing..."

"It was him again, wasn't it?" Light interrupted; his tone suspicious. His eyes narrowed expectantly as he waited for L to answer.

L leaned back against the dresser, drawing his legs up to his chest. His silence was enough to gather a response from.

This was not the first time he'd seen L covered in bruises and, unless something was done, then it would certainly not be the last. However, there was nothing that _could_ be done. The person responsible for L's bruises was someone that L cared too much for to ever turn in to the authorities.

Light sighed, not knowing what to say. L wouldn't listen if he tried to offer his advice – he never listened.

Light moved closer to L, stopping as he sat right next to him in order to wrap him in a friendly hug. L's eyes widened slightly, flickering curiously in his direction.

"L-Light-kun..."

Flushing in embarrassment, Light released him immediately. He coughed into his hand before gesturing to the side at one of the board games that littered the floor of L's bedroom. "Want to play Chess?" he asked quickly, in order to change the subject.

L stared at him blankly for a moment before nodding his head, a shy smile worming its way onto his face.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Do you believe in magic?" Light asked L out of the blue one evening as they were working together on a project for their Literature class.

L turned the page of his textbook, not bothering to look over at his friend. "Magic? No... That's stupid."

Light frowned as he skimmed the paper he was in the middle of typing up. In the reflection of the computer screen, he could see the red glow of L's beaded rosary. "What about God?"

"What does this have to do with our project?" L wanted to know, glaring at Light from beneath the veil of his long black bangs.

Light shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing, I guess. I was just wondering. I'm always wondering if any of it really exists."

"Well that's a stupid thing to occupy your mind with. Focus on our project. We need an A."

"We always get an A," Light pointed out – not that he needed to point it out at all. He and L were the smartest students in their class (in probably the whole school, really) and neither of them ever received a grade lower than a perfect one.

They continued on working silently. Light suddenly closed out of the document with an exclamation of, "this is boring."

L marked something in the textbook with a blue highlighter. "Schoolwork is not exactly supposed to be fun."

"I know that," Light said, scowling, "I wasn't even talking about the project, really... I was just thinking in general..."

"I do not understand," L admitted, shaking his head and reaching for the plate of creampuffs that sat on the edge of the bed. He opened his mouth a tiny bit, wincing at the soreness of the bruise present there, and popped the treat into his mouth.

Light watched him eat one of the snacks before closing his eyes and letting out a quiet sigh. "I just wish something exciting would happen."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Yagami Light, age sixteen.  
__L Lawliet, age seventeen._

_Day after day, week after week... Nothing ever changes. Every day is just the same as the one before it. _

Light cupped his cheek in the palm of his hand, his eyes roaming around the room without any set destination. He paused as his gaze fell upon the back of L's head. His best friend was doodling over his class notes, paying absolutely no attention to the teacher's lecture on English Literature.

L seemed to feel the eyes on him, for he glanced over his shoulder, meeting Light's gaze evenly. Light smiled at him and L looked away hurriedly, as if embarrassed.

"Yagami-kun, would you please translate the text on page seventy-two?"

Light gave a sigh and wordlessly stood from his seat, flipping to the correct page in his book and skimming the page to find where the last reader left off.

"_Follow the teachings of God and receive his blessings_," he read, translating the English characters effortlessly. He could feel L's blank stare on him once again; he made no effort to look back at his friend this time around, only concentrated on the words before him. "_And so it shall be that the seas will again become bountiful... and the raging storms will subside._"

"Flawless, as expected, Yagami-kun. You may sit."

Light did as told, sliding easily back down into his chair and closing the textbook. He could follow along with the lecture without needing to look at it; English Literature (like most other subjects) was not difficult for him.

His eyes began to wander again as boredom took over his mind. Light stared across the room at a group of three boys – two of which were bullies and the third their latest victim. This was nothing new; bullies always existed in schools, no matter how strict the faculty tried to be with them.

It was the same with the rest of the world... There would always be bullies, bad people – criminals.

Light's eyes settled on the back of L's head once more. He knew that under L's left eye (concealed with light facial powder) was a black-and-blue marking.

Nothing would ever change.

_But I wish... I wish that something would..._

His eyes flickered to the window beside him –

_I wish there could be a miracle..._

- And widened as they caught sight of something falling from the sky.

L stood up from his desk as the professor called on him, his soft voice the only thing that registered in Light's mind as Light continued to stare at the spot where the thing had fallen.

"_Say 'praise be to God', and he will show you his signs... and you will recognize them._"

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_Lawli: I'm very apprehensive about this fanfic idea, and especially about this first chapter since it tends to skip around a lot. So feedback would be very, VERY much appreciated. Please let me know if you like the idea or not and if you liked this intro chapter or not. If I get a positive response to this, then I will definately continue with it, so please send me a review!_


	2. Death Note

_Lawli: Wow, 22 reviews for the first chapter! I am shocked an honored to have gotten such a positive response already! I really was nervous about posting this, so thank you to everyone who gave me motivation to continue it! I meant to update this sooner, but the last scene in this chapter was very difficult to write (for many reasons, which you'll probably get once you read it). _

_Sh7cat pointed something out to me in a review that I thought I should make a note of: **L's character**. For these first few chapters, L **will seem very OOC**. I did this intentionally. Due to the fact that he's been raised completely differently in this fic than in the Canon, I figured he would have a completely different personality. As he is an orphan living with an abusive older sibling, I've decided that a reserved and passive personality would suit him best for the time being. That is why he is not butting heads with Light, and why they seemed to perhaps get along 'too well' in the first chapter. As the story continues, his character will develop more and change and he'll probably become more like his Canon self. Though he'll probably still be a tad OOC (sorry). _

_This is getting to be a very long author's note, so I'll wrap it up. Please read and enjoy, and don't forget to leave a little review when you're finished!_

_**Chapter Warning**: Incest (BxL)._

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**in the land where no-one smiles  
-I-**

_"I thought of the power in this world up to now. I thought of how people are convinced that nothing can change power the way it is."__

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Light remained seated even after the bell rang and signaled the end of the school day. His thoughts were still centered on the spectacle he'd witnessed during his English Literature class. Objects falling from the sky... He wondered what it could have been, where it could have landed, if it landed.

_Would it still be there?_

"Light-kun?"

L was standing in front of his desk, staring down at his best friend curiously. In his hands were his schoolbooks. Light stood up, the legs of his chair scraping against the wooden floor.

"Is something wrong?"

Light gathered his books in his arms and offered L a reassuring smile. "No, nothing. Let's go."

L silently agreed and followed him out the door. They walked side-by-side down the semi-crowded hallway. Together the pair descended a staircase and then L suddenly halted.

Light glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes. L was fingering the beads of his rosary nervously. "L?" he asked, taking a step closer to him.

"Yes... Sorry, I shouldn't have stopped. I was just wondering if Light-kun would like to go to the café with me."

Shrugging indifferently, he replied, "Sure. But I'll have to meet you there. There's something I've got to take care of first." The item that had fallen from the sky was calling out to him; he had to go see what it was. "What café?"

L thought a moment, mulling over his options. "Note Blue," he decided. "They have the best short cake there."

Light smiled, finding L's ever-present sweet tooth a source of amusement. "All right. I'll see you there."

They parted ways, L continuing in the direction of the main exit and Light heading towards the courtyard. There were still students loitering around, huddled in groups of about five and chattering excitedly amongst each other. He was greeted by several of his peers, and acknowledged them with a mere nod of the head, not stopping to gossip with any of them. His eyes scanned the area as he approached the patch of grass just below the window of his English Literature classroom, searching, _searching_...

Light grinned as he spotted it.

A black notebook was sitting innocently in the grass. A notebook was hardly something exciting, but Light picked it up anyways, brushing dirt off of the cover as he skimmed over it. He noticed, during his short inspection, the foreign letters that titled it and recognized the words as belonging to the English language.

'_Death Note'_

He frowned as he translated the meaning in his head. _A notebook of... death? _

Curious, he flipped the book open to the first page. It was thick with text, which also happened to be written in English. Light sighed, beginning the chore of reading through the page. He was very good at English, but it was still a pain to translate everything. Idly he wondered why someone who resided in Japan would write things down in English (unless, perhaps, they were stubborn foreigners like L who preferred to read and take notes in his native tongue; but this hardly seemed like a student's class notes).

'_How to Use'... Let's see: 'The human whose name is written in this Note shall... die'._

Light blinked and re-read the sentence again, thinking that he might not have translated correctly. But the statement was exactly the same the second time as it had been the first.

_Is this some kind of joke?_ He wondered, flicking through more pages and discovering even more guidelines scrawled in messy English. It seemed rather elaborate for a prank. _But it can't actually be real. You can't kill someone with a notebook, it's insane. _As he read through some of the rules on the next page, he couldn't help but think that a person would have to be sick in the head to come up with a prank such as that, to actually think up a killing system, such as: _'If the cause of death is written within forty seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen'._

His cell phone began vibrating in his back pocket and he reached for it, already guessing who it was calling him.

"_Light-kun, I got our favorite booth_," L informed him from the other line. "_Are you on your way?_"

Light nodded even though his friend could not see him. Closing the black notebook, he stuck it in his back pack, between his Calculus and Literature textbooks. "Yeah," he replied, making his way out of the courtyard. He passed two underclassmen girls whom he recognized from Student Government, who giggled and waved as he walked by them; he didn't say anything, only continued on his way. "I'm just leaving now."

"_See you soon, then_."

"Try not to buy the entire bakery while you're waiting."

He could almost see L's thin-lipped smile.

"_I shall try to resist_," L promised in his usual whisper-voice before hanging up.

Returning his cell phone to his pocket, Light kept walking, all the while concentrating on the strange notebook that fell from the sky, attempting to discern whether or not it could possibly work.

'_The human whose name is written in this note shall die...'_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Maybe _I'm_ sick in the head, too._

Light watched as L shoveled another large forkful of strawberry shortcake into his mouth and chewed on it normally. He'd known L for so long now that his eating habits (while still disgusting) hardly fazed him any longer.

L was talking about a serial killer he'd heard about on the news that morning, explaining the details of the latest murder without managing to ruin his appetite. Light was barely listening, his mind too wrapped up around the first rule in the Death Note.

Could it really work? Could such a simple thing as a notebook really have the power to take the life of a human being? The only way to find out for sure was to test the notebook, something Light had mixed feelings about. If he tried and nothing happened, he would feel stupid for buying into someone's idiotic prank. On the other hand, if he tried it and it _did_ work... would that make him a murderer?

"L," he spoke suddenly, interrupting his friend in his little speech about the inefficiency of the Japanese police force. "Can I ask you something weird?"

L, who appeared rather miffed at having been interrupted, took another bite of his cake. "Something weird?" Crumbs sprayed from his mouth; Light wrinkled his nose. "Like what?"

"Like..." Light made a show of thinking the question over. "If you had that power to kill someone, would you do it?"

L was completely taken aback by the unexpected inquiry. He blinked several times before lowering his fork to his plate. "I... don't know, Light-kun. I don't think I would, but it would depend on the situation. If someone was threatening me or someone I care about..."

"No situation," Light clarified. "Just... say you were granted the supernatural ability to kill people. What would you do?"

L continued to stare, wide-eyed, utterly flabbergasted. "Light-kun, I don't... No. No, I wouldn't. That'd be terrible. How can you ask me something like that – are you not feeling well?"

Light shook his head. "I'm fine. I was just wondering; that's all. Sorry if I freaked you out."

Silence fell between them. L took a slow drink from his tea, holding the cup daintily between his thumb and index finger, the knuckles of which were white from old scars that never faded. He stared at Light over the rim, his black eyes wide and expressionless as ever.

"What about you," he asked suddenly as he set the cup gently back down onto the saucer. "Would you kill someone if you had the power to do so?"

Light took his time in pondering over the question. He didn't know how to respond to it. The reason he'd asked L in the first place was to hear his opinion and formulate his own opinion based off of it. They were best friends; their thoughts were usually the same. But he didn't agree with L this time around – at least, not on all levels.

"It is terrible," he said, reaching out to take hold of his coffee mug. He raised the mug to his lips but didn't drink from it. "But..." his voice trailed off, lips curving downwards thoughtfully once more.

"But," L repeated, leaning forward, "how can there be a '_but'_, Light-kun? Murder is an awful thing; it's not like you to –"

"I didn't say I consent with the act itself. Murder is an awful thing, especially when done in cold blood," Light interrupted, glaring at L from under his bangs. "But sometimes, I feel... there are people who deserve to die."

"... Light-kun, no one deserves to die," L protested weakly, though Light barely heard him.

"People who make the world rotten." Light's gaze rested on the bruise under his friend's eye.

L, realizing what Light's focus had landed on, touched his cheeks, casting his charcoal eyes downwards. "Light-kun." He spoke the name firmly, and Light knew it was because L hated it when he stared at the bruises (hated it even more than when strangers stared).

Light closed his eyes and took a sip of his coffee, which had cooled significantly by this point. For several minutes, neither of them spoke. And then Light asked: "how did your parents die, L?"

L didn't answer, and part of the reason was because Light already knew the answer. He'd coerced his friend into explaining the truths of his past several years ago. It was a conversation that ended with tears on L's part, and resulted in a night of Light holding L in his arms to comfort him, and a morning after which they refused to look at or speak to one another.

Light answered his own question. "They were killed."

Across the table, L flinched. Light watched as his friend gripped the material covering his knees. Light ignored his reaction for the time being.

"L... if you could get revenge... if you were able to kill the ones responsible for murdering your parents..."

"No," L responded, before Light could finish what he was going to say.

L began to unfold himself from his usual sitting position. Light could hear him slipping his feet into his ragged trainers. "Why?" he wondered aloud.

L stood up and Light didn't think he'd reply. Then, L turned to face him, his black eyes glassy and cold, and Light felt a little bit guilty for bringing up the painful subject.

"Revenge wouldn't bring them back. Killing my parents' murderers would make me no better than them."

He started to walk away. Light quickly rose from his seat, plucking several bills from his wallet and throwing them carelessly on the table before going after his friend.

"L."

L didn't react; merely stuffed his hands in his pockets and allowed his feet to lead him out of the café.

"L, wait," he tried again, grabbing hold of L's elbow to stop him. L's body tensed, but his feet ceased their forward movement. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought up your parents; it was insensitive of me. I know it's still painful for you, and I shouldn't have..." He sighed and took a step closer to his friend. "I'm sorry, okay?"

L gave him a hard glare, staring deeply into his eyes. Eventually he gave in and accepted the apology. "Don't ask me anything like that again. Please, Light-kun."

Light smiled, moving his hand to L's arm in order to give his shoulder a friendly squeeze. "I promise."

They started walking again, in the direction of the street they both lived on.

"Why were you even thinking about such things, Light-kun?" L said, peering at him curiously.

Light shrugged indifferently. "I don't know... The thought popped into my head during that ethics-themed discussion in English Literature, and then in the café you started talking about that serial killer. It just got me wondering."

"... I see."

Light shifted his book bag from one shoulder to the other, reminding himself of the little black book inside of it. He knew now that he would have to keep the Death Note a secret from his best friend.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When the pair reached the Yagami house, L was still in an off mood. Light could feel the proverbial hand of guilt playing at his heartstrings, though he didn't really know what to do to cheer his best friend up. His mother and younger sister both seemed to take notice of L's quiet depression right away.

"Is something wrong, dear?" his mother asked, concern lacing her voice; she always had viewed L as her second son.

"I'm fine, Yagami-san," L replied politely; he never had been able to think of her as his mother, or even his second mother.

Sayu disappeared into the kitchen and returned seconds later baring a tray of homemade brownies, which she held up to L in offering. "I-I figured you'd be coming over today, so I made you these," she stammered, cheeks turning red. It was no secret that she had been harboring a crush on her brother's best friend for the past few years.

The brownies did manage to bring a smile to L's face, albeit only temporarily. He took one from the tray and eagerly bit into it, smearing chocolate across his bottom lip in the process. "Delicious, Sayu-chan," he complemented whilst chewing.

He finished the brownie but did not take another. Together he and Light wandered up the stairs, down the end of the hall and into Light's bedroom, closing the door behind them. Light sat down on the edge of the bed while L perched comfortable atop his friend's computer desk. They stared at one another for an immeasurable amount of time.

Finally, Light broke the silence by stating an obvious fact. "You're still upset."

"Yes," L agreed, lowering his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is."

"...Yes... it is."

"I'm sorry," Light said a second time. "I didn't mean to..."

"I know." L curled an arm around one of his knees, his black eyes staring down at the floor, at Light's feet. "But you did."

Light didn't say anything. On the other side of the room, L began to propel the desk chair in a circular motion with his left foot.

The evening passed without much event. With the air thick enough to slice through with a butcher's knife, both teenagers felt uncomfortable talking. When they did speak, it was only a few words at a time, never more than a sentence at most. At seven-o-clock, Yagami Sachiko appeared in the doorway, exclaiming that dinner was ready and asking if L wanted to join them.

"I've made plenty," she assured, smiling warmly at him.

L planted his feet on the floor and bent down to retrieve his backpack from the ground before standing up. "No thank you, Yagami-san," he declined. "I should get home."

Sachiko smiled and allowed L to exit the room first. She, L, and Light descended the stairs. Light waved to L in passing as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Say hello to your brother for us," he heard his mother say before the front door closed.

Light situated himself at the table beside Sayu, who looked positively crushed that L hadn't agreed to stay for supper. Sachiko joined the two at the table several minutes afterwards, setting a serving platter in the center of the table.

"Has something happened between you and L?" she asked as she plucked up a piece of salmon with her chopsticks, beginning to fill her plate.

Light, who had been doing the same, paused, his chopsticks hovering over a piece of sashimi. "... We had a bit of a disagreement," he replied truthfully as his body set back into motion again. "Not really a big deal."

Sachiko frowned. "You should go and apologize. It's not right for such good friends to argue."

"I guess. But I've already apologized to him. I'll just talk to him tomorrow; he should be fine by then."

"Light..."

His mother's voice had developed a note of disapproval. Light sighed and set down his chopsticks. He did feel guilty for bringing up L's dead parents, but he'd already told L that he was sorry. What more did his mother want?

"All right," he relented. "I'll go after dinner."

Sachiko smiled.

"Let's eat!" Sayu declared.

The three dug into their food. A light conversation started about the festival being held by Sakura TV that would be taking place in the upcoming mouth. Sayu was giggling and explaining how her friends were urging her to compete for the title of Miss Junior Sakura. Light barely paid the conversation any heed; his thoughts had wandered back to his and L's argument, and the initial cause of it: the Death Note.

'_The human whose name is written in this Note shall die'._

He took a bite of rice, smiling and nodding his head as Sayu asked for his opinion. "I think you could easily win, Sayu. You should go for it."

Sayu cheered and embraced her brother awkwardly while still holding onto her chopsticks. "Thanks, Light! I think I will. Oh! And you know what's so cool? I can't believe I forgot to mention earlier; the winner of the competition gets to have a photo shoot with Misa-Misa!"

Light tuned her out again, disinterested in Sayu's obsession with the up-and-coming supermodel.

_I wonder if it works,_ he thought, chewing pensively on his salmon. _Should I test it?_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After dinner, Light begrudgingly went to L's house. It wasn't a far walk. L and his brother lived on the opposite side of the street, six houses down – a distance of roughly three minutes. When he tried the doorknob, he was surprised to find it unlocked.

"L?" he called as he stepped inside. It was dark, but that was noting unusual. Beyond had some kind of disorder with his eyes that made him sensitive to the light, so the house was rarely ever lit.

There was no response. Light wondered if no one was home, then he recalled the unlocked door and realized that would be impossible. Either they were in the backyard or upstairs. Since he was already in the house, Light decided to check the upstairs first.

After removing his shoes and setting them by the front door, he moved further into the house, rounding the corner to the right and meeting the first stair. As he moved to the upper level of the house, he thought he could hear voices, and when he reached the top step he spotted a glow leaking into the hallway from the crack of L's bedroom door.

From the hallway, the voices were much clearer, and they obviously belonged to L and his brother (though Light really hadn't expected it to be anyone else). He moved slowly closer to the door, trying to pick up on what was being said.

"..-ing makeup?" There was a pause – Light didn't know if L was just speaking softly or if he refused to give a response – and then Beyond spoke again. "Are you trying to entice me?"

Light stopped when he was several feet away from the door, holding his breath, trying not to make a sound lest the brothers become aware of his presence.

A soft gasp reached his ears. Light quirked a brow in interest, wishing he could see through the wall.

"Are you... _Lawliet_?"

Light shivered, as he did every time he heard L's full name. There were only several people who knew what it was, as L generally didn't like to tell people. Lawliet was his mother's name, and being called by it was a constant reminder that she was dead, so he stressed that everyone call him L. Beyond was the only one who addressed him as such, and always with that oddly affectionate tone in his voice.

"B-Beyond..."

A heavy silence filled the air. Beyond had chosen not to answer L, but Light could still hear noises coming from the room; a rustling sound that he couldn't quite place, and then the creak of the bed. He found himself inching closer to the door, his breathing shallow. _What was going on in there?_

"You're blushing."

L's voice was softer than usual, tinged with unease. "Beyond, don't..."

Beyond shushed him. The bed creaked again, as if someone was moving across it, and then there was a startled gasp before silence reigned. Light realized his hands were clenched into fists, his heart was beating faster than usual, and he needed to see what was happening. A churning feeling made its presence known in the pit of Light's stomach and he hesitated as he stood before the door to L's bedroom.

The door was open a crack, just enough for him to see inside. The first thing that came into view was the corner of L's cherry wood desk. It was covered in an assortment of candy wrappers, underneath of which were some pages of loose-leaf paper and several pens. Light's eyes traveled over the desk, to the bed beside the wall nearest to it. All Light could see from this angle was the backside of L's older brother. Beyond was on all fours, hovering over the mattress, like a predator who'd just captured his prey and was about to deliver the final attack, hovering over L.

"Please..." Another gasp. "Beyond..."

All Light could see of his friend were L's gangly legs which hung over the edge of the bed. They were moving, kicking haplessly; however, L's efforts were made useless due to the beige school pants pooled around his ankles providing a limited range of mobility.

"_Yes_," Beyond hissed. "Yes, _Lawliet_, say my name again." His head moved down and Light didn't want to imagine what he was doing, though he had a fairly decent idea. The sick feeling in his stomach only intensified as heard a small noise, halfway between a wince and a groan, come from L's lips. "You know how much you tempt me? Wearing that pretty makeup, trying to look like _her_ – Fuck, you look so much like _her, _Lawliet!"

"Don't –"

"_Shh..."_ The fire had disappeared from Beyond's voice, leaving only the eerie, snake-like tone. Light watched as he moved one of his hands, presumably to stroke L's face. "You don't have to cry. You know I love you too much to hurt you..."

One of L's hands reached around Beyond's neck, grasping onto the thick black hair. Light stood frozen at the door, hating to watch this continue but unable to move. He wanted to run away but his body wouldn't cooperate.

Beyond lowered his head, resting it on L's chest. "You love me too, right...?"

"I—"

"I see the way you look at _him_. The Yagami boy..."

Light stiffened, gripping the doorframe with one hand, trying to keep his breathing under control. His heart was racing, his eyes glued on the scene before him but barely even registering it even more. The only thing on his mind was the Death Note and its primary rule.

"You love him," Beyond continued, and Light felt his heart leap into his throat at the words. "Sometimes I think you love him more than me... your only family."

"N-no, Beyond... I do love you."

"...The one who raised you, looked after you, loved you. I love you more than anyone in the whole world, Lawliet, the whole goddamn world! No one else, just you..."

L hesitated before speaking again. "I love you."

"Don't lie to me!" Beyond screamed, the gentleness wiped from his voice as a rage took control once again.

Light was certain that if he could see the man's face, Beyond's eyes would be glowing red to match his anger. There was a _slap!_ and Light knew that, the next morning, he would see another bruise somewhere on L's face, poorly concealed by facial powder.

"Don't you fucking lie to me with _her_ face! You don't want this, you don't want me touching you like this, _Lawliet_, you never did; you _never did_ even though you always said you loved me!" Another _slap_! "You love him, you want him to touch you; but I love you more than he does. I'm the only one. You hear? The only one, Lawliet! You're mine, you were always meant to be mine!"

Light finally managed to turn away as Beyond tore down his pants. He couldn't see this, couldn't watch this. It was too terrible, and he felt like emptying his stomach right there in the middle of the hallway. But he needed to get out.

He ran down the hallway, not caring to be quiet any longer. In fact, he wanted to be loud – as loud as possible, so he could block out the sound of Beyond's hysteria and L's tearful groans.

* * *

_"I thought of the power in this world up to now. I thought of how people are convinced that nothing can change power the way it is._

_...But you can."_

* * *

_Lawli: Mid-way through writing the scene between B and L, I gave B a sort of Oedipus complex. o.o Blame it on my English teacher? Seriously though, I hope the incest bit didn't scare anyone away. _

_Please tell me what you think of the chapter! Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcome and very much appreciated!_


	3. Sacrifice

_Lawli: This update took longer than I expected it would, but I have a decent explanation. For the last two weeks I've been performing in my University's play The Living Blog: Apocalypse (which was the inspiration for this fic!). And I've also gotten my hands on a copy of Another Note (courtesy of my bff who knows who she is if she's reading this ;D ) and so have had to force myself to put it down long enough to right this chapter. I hope this was worth the wait, though!_

_A small note about **L and Beyond's last name**. I tried to be original and think of a surname for them (obviously I couldn't use Lawliet, since that is L's first name in this story) and came up empty-handed. And so, being uncreative, I settled on the last name **Day**. So L is Lawliet Day, and Beyond is Beyond Birth Day (Birth being his middle name). Sorry if my unoriginality has let everyone down. XP_

_With all of that said, please READ, ENJOY, and don't forget to leave a little (or big) REVIEW. Because I love to hear what you think of the story!_

_**Chapter Warnings:** Beyond being... Beyond. Character death.__

* * *

_

**in the land where no-one smiles  
****-II-**

"_I thought of you, being somehow different in all this sameness."

* * *

_

L did not show up for school the next morning. Light, who had never known his friend to miss a full day of classes, took this to mean that something was seriously wrong. No matter what happened (how many bruises he merited from Beyond) L always toughed it out; covered his face in neutral makeup and pretended nothing was out of the ordinary. Of course, people always knew, but usually they went along with L's façade of normalcy. For L not to show up for school...

Images of what he'd witnessed between the two brothers the previous evening invaded Light's memory as he sat in his sixth period Calculus class, staring blankly at the empty chair beside him that was usually occupied by his best friend.

... Did that mean Beyond hadn't stopped? Even with the commotion Light knew he'd caused on his way out of the house (they had to have heard him!) had Beyond continued?

Light frowned, feeling sick once again. He placed a hand over his mouth and glared down at the equations in his textbook. Honestly, he never thought Beyond would do something so loathsome. The man was a creep, there was no denying that; Light never felt comfortable around him, even when Beyond flashed him those sickly-sweet smiles. And then there were the bruises. Beyond abused L; L never wanted to admit it but it wasn't hard to figure out. But this... _this_... this was something that Light never expected, even from Beyond. It was too much – too horrible; Light didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe he'd been right there – _right there_, close enough to do something about it, possibly stop it – and he'd run. Run away, left L behind.

The realization hit Light with the force of a speeding bus.

He could have gone in there – could have pried Beyond off of L, could have called the cops, could have... could have done _anything_. But he'd been too consumed by shock and repulsion, too scared, and so did nothing; ran away and hoped that his sounds of his footsteps was enough to deter Beyond from raping his own brother.

Looking back on his actions, Light felt disgusted with himself. His best friend... L, who would do anything for him (who _loved_ him, supposedly, according to Beyond in that moment of madness)... Light just left him there, at Beyond's mercy. How could he even call himself L's friend (his best friend) after this?

How could he have done _nothing_?!

"Yagami-kun, is there a problem?"

Light blinked, flicking his gaze upwards and towards his professor, who stared back at him curiously. For the first time, Light realize that he was not sitting; rather, he was standing, his hands gripping the corners of his desk with such force that his knuckles had turned white.

"Yagami-kun?"

"I'm sorry," Light said after a moment. "I guess... I'm not really feeling well."

"Would you like to go to the nurse's office?"

"...Yes," Light decided, gaze settling on L's empty chair. "I would."

The professor nodded and wrote him a pass, which Light gratefully took and exited the room with after gathering all of his belongings. On his way to the nurse's office, he flipped open his cell phone and checked to see if he'd gotten any messages from L. Nothing. Feeling even more worried, he quickly sent a text to L's phone – a simple, '_hey, everything okay?' _– before pocketing his cell and stepping into the infirmary.

The nurse easily recognized him and, knowing his reputation for being such a diligent student, believed him when Light said he wasn't feeling well. She sympathized, offered to write him a note that would excuse him from the rest of his classes.

"Yes," Light accepted, "I would appreciate that. I probably just need to go sleep it off."

The nurse nodded her head. "Let me go write that note and you can go home to get some rest."

Light could feel his cell phone vibrating in his back pocket. Forcing a weary smile onto his face, Light thanked her quietly and watched her disappear into the next room before pulling out his phone. After clicking the top button on the left-hand side, the response popped up onto the small screen.

'_Don't worry.'_

But he _was _worried.

L was selfless by nature, didn't like people feeling concerned for him – but if Light didn't worry, who would?

'_I'm coming over,' _he typed back.

The reply he received was quick:_ 'Don't.'_

Light had to return his cell phone back to his pocket before getting a chance to write back, as the nurse entered the room at that moment. She held up the note she'd written and instructed him to drop it off at the front office on his way out.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Feel better, Yagami-kun."

The message L sent him only made Light more anxious to find out what was going on. He left the infirmary as soon as the note was placed in his hand, stopping at the front office to throw it on the receptionist's desk before rushing out the doors and off of school property. He did have to wait for a bus. Buses in this part of Kanto usually came around every fifteen minutes; he had five more to wait. Flipping open his cell phone, he responded simply to L: '_yes'_.

Keeping the phone clasped tightly in his right hand, he glanced down the road, looking for the bus, thinking he could see it in the distance.

What would he find once he reached L's house? L seemed determined to keep Light away (the text he received right as the bus pulled to the stop read: '_please don't'_). What was he hiding? Was he feeling ashamed of himself, and too embarrassed to look his best friend in the eye? Did he think Light would shun him if he found out the truth (not that he didn't already know it).

Light placed several coins in the appropriate slot and took a seat near the middle of the bus. It wasn't crowded at all; most people were still either working or at school.

... Did L know?

The thought caused Light's insides to turn cold. He visibly paled.

Did L know he had been there – know that he'd watched from the safety of the hallway – know that he'd done _nothing_? Light hadn't made a quiet escape from the house – purposefully went out as loud as possible. So it was plausible. What would he say if he found out L knew? What could he possibly say or do to make up for the fact that he'd _allowed_ Beyond to...

Light's eyes widened.

_Beyond_!

Light hadn't thought of it earlier, but what if Beyond was at the house when he arrived? The last thing he wanted was to lay eyes on the man. He couldn't remember ever feeling hatred for L's brother before (he'd always thought Beyond was creepy, dirty, dangerous – but he never outright _hated_ him) and now he couldn't bring himself to feel anything but hatred towards him. So what would he do if Beyond was home – if Beyond was home and tried approaching him?

(Surely he had to know; Beyond knew everything_; always_ knew _everything_).

The fear stayed with him the entire bus ride, left the vehicle with him, and followed him like a pest all the way to his best friend's front porch, which Light stood on for a good three minutes, shuddering, giving his decision to visit a second thought.

L... L needed him. Even if he claimed to not want Light there, he needed him – for comfort, for support.

Swallowing and trying his best to gather his courage, Light brought a hand up to the doorknob and tested it. Locked. Light swore under his breath and knocked twice, begrudgingly. There was a full minute he was forced to wait, during which he contemplated bolting toward the safety of his own home, and then the door unlocked and opened to reveal the one face Light had been hoping to avoid.

Beyond stared down at him, his thin lips stretching into a wide smirk as he realized who it was. Light could have sworn his eyes flashed red.

"Tsuki-kun! What a pleasant surprise," Beyond greeted in a low voice, a voice so dissimilar to the one he used with L.

Light frowned at the incorrect pronunciation of his name. The kanji that spelled out his name also translated to read _Moon_ (_Tsuki_), which was something he'd explained to L's older brother many years ago when they first met. Ever since then, Beyond rarely referred to him as anything else.

"It's a surprise to see you here," Beyond said, stepping aside and holding the door open for him to enter.

Light did so. Beyond closed and locked the door behind him.

"I don't think Lawliet is in the mood to play today."

Beyond stood directly behind Light, so close that Light could practically feel the heat coming off of his body. It sent chills down his spine.

"He's not feeling himself; he's tired..." Beyond's voice trailed off as he placed a hand on Light's shoulder. "I'm sure you can imagine why." Light stiffened and Beyond laughed – a forced, slightly high-pitched '_henh henh henh henh' _sound that made the hairs on the back of Light's neck stand erect.

"You witnessed quite a show, didn't you?"

Light tried to pull away, but Beyond was stronger than he looked (he was able to pin L down on the bed so effortlessly). He kept his left hand on Light's left shoulder and his right on Light's right bicep, leaning close to whisper in his ear.

"Did it turn you on? Did it, Tsuki-kun, did it make you hard, hearing Lawliet moan like that?"

"Stop..."

"Fuck, makes me hard just to think about it. That moan; he's got a voice like hers, you know, Tsuki-kun – I imagine she moaned like that too."

Beyond tried to draw him closer; but Light fought against it, twisting in his arms, freeing his right arm so he could backhand the older man.

"Don't touch me!" he cried, breathing heavily, unable to get the image of L flat on his back on that bed out of his mind.

Beyond held a hand to his cheek, which was beginning to turn a violent shade of red. "Tsuki-kun is very cruel," he said mournfully after a long silence. Light could have sworn his eyes became red again, in that instant. "I don't know why Lawliet loves you so much."

"L..." Light began, only to be interrupted.

"You didn't even try to help him."

Light wanted to ignore the words, but he couldn't, because they were so true. They were what he had been telling himself the entire time.

"You just stood there, watching. Enjoying it, were you?"

"No."

"So why would he love you, Tsuki-kun? I don't understand." Beyond stuck his entire thumb into his mouth, a very exaggerated mimic of L's nervous nail-biting habit.

Light chose not to answer him. He turned his back to the older male and made his way to the staircase. Beyond, thankfully, made no move to stop or follow him.

The door to L's room was ajar, just as it had been the previous evening. Light stood just in front of it, peering inside and catching no sight of his best friend. Gingerly he pushed the door open and took one step inside. The room was empty.

"Light-kun."

Light jumped, spinning around and instinctively thrusting out an arm to knock away the one who'd snuck up on him. Thin fingers closed around his wrist. L stood before him, dressed in a pair of oversized blue jeans and a plain white shirt. There was a towel draped over his shoulders and his hair was damp, skin pinker than usual; apparently he'd just gotten out of the shower. Light stared at him, at the wide black eyes that seemed even more distant than usual.

The bruise Light expected was there on his face, a deep purple against the pale white-pink of his flushed cheeks. He stared. L released his hand and brushed past him. He brought the towel over his head as he sat down on the edge of the bed (the bed he'd been pinned down on just the night before) and let it just rest there so it fell over his eyes like a veil and cast a shadow over the rest of his face.

"L –"

"Why did you come over?" L asked.

Light swallowed, standing in the doorway, too nervous to go any further into the room – he could never look at it the same way again, much less comfortably enter it. "I was worried," he said, slowly. "You didn't show up for school and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

L didn't answer, only smiled sadly. "And what do you expect me to tell you, Light-kun?"

He laid down on the bed. Light couldn't look at him; in that moment, all he could see on that bed was L's flailing legs and Beyond's larger body on top of him. He suppressed the desire to cringe.

"The truth."

There was no reason for them to beat around it. Light knew what had happened; L knew he knew. There was no point hiding it.

"The truth..." L echoed, gazing up at the ceiling listlessly. "I'm not okay. That's the truth. I'm..."

"L—"

"—not okay, Light-kun. I'll be fine tomorrow, maybe, but today I'm not. I just need today to–"

"You won't be fine tomorrow!" Light cut him off, closing the door and taking another few steps into the room. "How can you say that? After what happened... don't tell me you'll just feel better in the morning."

L didn't move. "So you did see."

"This isn't like the other times, L... You can't just cover it up with makeup and say it never happened. You can't keep protecting him like this!"

"... No."

Cautiously, Light approached the bed. He didn't want to be so close to it, but he did want to be near L. Easing himself onto the mattress, he focused down on L, seeing the black-hole eyes still wide open. L shifted his attention from the ceiling to Light's face and Light reached out a hand, placing it on the hem of L's shirt and tugging it upward, gently.

L blinked. "What are you doing, Light-kun?" he whispered.

Light pushed the shirt up and was met with no resistance from L, even as he pulled it over his head. "I want to see," he explained, eyes landing on L's naked torso. Small red marks dotted his pale chest in a random pattern. L shifted uncomfortably but did not protest. "I don't want you to hide it from me. I already know, so... I think..."

"You think...?"

Light shook his head. "I don't know what I think. I'm sorry."

L sighed. "Don't apologize.

"No! I... I need to. I'm sorry, I... I didn't."

"Your apology does not change anything," L pointed out; he did not sound angry, or even upset. His voice was monotonous. "It happened; it can't be changed."

Light lowered his gaze to his lap, feeling ashamed of himself for what he'd allowed to transpire between the two brothers. Exhaling, he unclasped the button of L's jeans and pulled them down to his ankles. L shivered –whether from the cool air of the room or from bad memories, Light didn't know.

There were bruises on L's thighs. Small bruises, made no doubt from the pressure of Beyond's fingers forcing his legs apart.

_The world is rotten._

Light swept his gaze up L's quivering body, settling on his eyes once more. There were tears glazing L's charcoal eyes, but he wasn't crying. Not yet, at least; he would probably wait for Light to leave before he cried, that was just the kind of person L was.

_There are people who don't deserve to live. People who shouldn't exist, who need to be punished but never are._

Light lowered himself down so that he laid beside L. He reached out to him, wrapping his arms around the bare body and pulling it close. He hadn't done this since L told him about his parents' deaths.

"L-Light-kun," L called, weakly, bringing a hand to rest against his chest.

L's fingers were cold and, like the rest of him, trembling. He was on the brink of a meltdown, Light could sense it; his arms tightened around him.

"Sorry won't change anything, I know. But... I still want to show you I'm sorry. I want to be here for you. Let me make it better."

"You can't."

"Let me try."

L closed his eyes. "Like you tried last night?"

Light felt his blood run cold at the statement (the accusation, more like it). He bowed his head, opened his mouth to say something but couldn't form words.

"I'm sorry, Light-kun. I shouldn't have said that."

L did sound apologetic. He curled against Light, resting his head just under Light's chin.

"L..."

L shook his head. "Please don't say anything. Just hold me. Try to make me feel better."

Light stared down at the top of L's head, at the hair reminiscent of the black notebook resting in the top drawer of his bedroom desk, the black notebook he had a newfound desire to test.

'_The human whose name is written in this Note shall die.'_

"I will make it better."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Light's hand trembled as he brought the pen down on the clean, white sheet of paper. He knew what he had to do – what he needed to do, for L... for himself. L was suffering. Light holding him for the night was hardly enough to make up for what his best friend had experienced (though L tried to convince him otherwise when morning came).

Taking a deep breath, Light began with the first letter of L's brother's strange name.

_B_ –

And then the second.

_B – E_ –

And then the third, and the fourth.

_B – E – Y_ – _O_ –

Light needed to do this. It was the only way. L wouldn't turn Beyond in, not even after what he did. L loved him so much (his only family, his beloved big brother Beyond). Beyond could try to kill him and L wouldn't turn him in. And if he wasn't apprehended, occurrences such as that night would only continue.

_B – E – Y – O – N_ – _D_

Who would stop him?

_B – I_ –

L would never testify if Light went to the police himself.

_B – I – R – T – _

No. This was the only way. It was horrible; Light's hands would be forever stained red for this – he would be damned, cursed to never go to Heaven or Hell when he died (for the rules stated that users of the Death Note were fated to only Nothingness). But for L... for his best friend, the one who loved him...

_B – I – R – T – H _

The last name now. There was no going back after it was written down. If the Notebook was real – if it truly did have the power it claimed to – then Beyond's death would be finalized the instant Light spelled out the final letter of his short surname. Light took a deep breath. His heart was racing in his chest, and he could hear blood rushing in his ears.

_D – _

There was no going back. He was about to cross the point of no return.

_D – A –_

It was for L. It was all for L. With this, L would be saved.

_D – A – Y _

Light pictured the face of L's brother in his head. The gangly, pale limbs, the gaunt face, the stringy black hair styled similarly to L's own, the creepy black eyes that sometimes flashed red when the light hit them at a certain angle.

_BEYOND BIRTH DAY._

_

* * *

_

"_I thought of you, being somehow different in all this sameness. Standing out, standing alone."_

* * *

_Lawli: No, Beyond! D: Well you can't say he didn't deserve it, right? _

_Please review! Constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated as well!_


	4. Ghosts

_Lawli: Ugh, so there's really no excuse for my updating this late except for the fact that I've been feeling really lazy lately, so I apologize! I was actually going to post this chapter last week, but I went to see Avenue Q on Thursday so I was bouncing off the walls the entire week prior to going 'cause I was so excited, and then for several days later I was still bouncing off the walls because the show was just SO GOOD and I NEEDED to write Death Note and Naruto cosplay skits with a bunch of the songs. XD _

_So again sorry for the late chapter. Hope it's good, regardless of the fact that it's so late. It was really difficult for me to write, so... I'm not so sure._

_Warning: Some incest._

* * *

**in the land where no-one smiles**

**-III-**

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_Send the spent ghost on its way to that soothing oblivion. The miracle ending.  
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* * *

Light stared blankly down at the casket, at the cold, lifeless face of the man he'd grown to hate – the man he'd been driven to kill. Beyond Birth Day. Beyond was donned in his Sunday best – a dark, pressed suit with a white button-up and a maroon tie; Light mentally toyed with the idea that the suit was newly purchased, as he had never seen Beyond dress in anything other than oversized jeans and long-sleeved, plainly colored shirts (a style that L adapted for himself as well over the years).

As he stared at the corpse, he couldn't help but think that, besides clothing choice, there was very little difference between the living Beyond and the dead one. Both sent shivers down Light's spine; both filled him with repulsion and contempt; both made his fingers twitch with the desire to grab the nearest pen and scribble down that odd English name over and over and _over_ until the lead ran out.

Both made L cry.

Light tried to ignore the muffled sniffles (L hid his face behind his hands, his cover up as fake as the makeup he wore to conceal the fading bruises) but it was difficult. Worse, Light didn't know what to do to make it stop. L was crying because his brother was dead, and his brother was dead because of _him_; and even though L had no knowledge of that, what could Light possible say to him?

Normally Light was very good with words, and comforting people (comforting L) usually came so naturally to him. But the circumstances were drastically different from any other day. He couldn't just wrap his arms around L and tell him that everything would be fine, because things were anything but fine. L was an emotional wreck, having just lost his only remaining family, and it was Light's own fault.

_I killed him_, Light thought, momentarily losing the ability to breathe; _I killed him_.

It would take L months – years, maybe his entire life – to get over this. Beyond was so terrible to L – he abused him, slapped him around, _raped_ him – and yet... L did not hate him, as Light did. L would never wish him death, as Light had. L loved Beyond, loved him more than anything (though Beyond once said that L loved Light, only Light).

Light didn't think he'd ever regret using the Death Note. After first writing Beyond's name down, he'd felt a strange surge of pride rushing through his veins – because he'd done something right, something _just_ and _good_ – and that feeling stayed with him until he received the hysterical phone call from L that confirmed Beyond's death by heart attack. Upon receiving the news, he felt cold (and dirty and disgusting and _he was a murderer!_) but that feeling subsided once he was able to yet again assure himself that what he had done was right (because it had been done for L, only for L, and only to protect him).

He knew L would be upset, and that he would cry, but Light hadn't expected such an extreme depression to settle over his friend. L hadn't stopped crying in more than a week; every time Light saw him, there were always tears in his eyes (but no emotion).

He'd done the right thing, hadn't he?

There had been no other way. The moment Beyond laid a finger on L with malicious intent, he was past the point of reconciliation, too far from redemption, in Light's eyes. And the Death Note... the Death Note gave Light the means to make sure Beyond was taught a valuable lesson.

(He would burn in the fires of Hell, far from the mercy of God, like the sinner he was.)

When the wake was over, Light waited behind for L to finish paying his last respects, lingering by the door of the small funeral home and all the while rethinking his actions. Had be been too rash?

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted L moving closer to the open casket. With a morbid sort of curiosity, he watched, transfixed, as L clutched the rosary (red, like Beyond's creepy eyes that would now and forever remained closed) and leaned over the coffin, lowering his head to brush his lips gently against those of his dead brother's – the very lips that once kissed him so savagely.

"Don't leave me..."

The whisper echoed in the nearly empty room, causing a chill to crawl down Light's spine. He tried to tear his eyes away from the disturbing sight, but they remained persistently glued to the scene.

L was holding Beyond now, grasping his stiff upper arms and squeezing them tightly as if he believed the warmth of his fingers could somehow bring a dead man back to life. He sobbed quietly, repeating variations of that same desperate prayer several times.

"Don't leave me, please don't leave me. You said you'd never leave me!"

Light shifted his weight from his left foot to his right, growing steadily more uncomfortable. He shouldn't be watching this, shouldn't be listening to L's broken pleas. It was too private, too personal, and it made Light second-guess his actions out of guilt – something he was not used to.

"What am I supposed to do without you?"

This was going too far. L spoke to Beyond's corpse as if the man was worth something. What would L do without Beyond? He would finally be free! He wouldn't have to be afraid of being touched in an inappropriate way, he wouldn't have to worry if people at school were beginning to form theories about the type of home he came from; he wouldn't have to waste his money on makeup, because there would be no more bruises to hide.

So why was he mourning? He should be rejoicing, praising whatever God was responsible for liberating him. L should be thankful. Light damned his soul for him, so that he could be happy; he would never be allowed into Heaven or Hell as a price for using the Death Note – he had accepted this punishment for L, and L... L was still_ crying!_

"L," he called, taking a step away from the doors and making his way toward his friend. "We have to go."

"No," L said, shaking his head frantically, tightening his grip on Beyond. "No, no, no, I can't leave him." Light placed his hands gently on L's shoulders and L flinched at the contact, jerking away from him. "You go," L told him. "I'm staying. I have to stay with him. I can't... I can't just leave him here like this."

Light's eyes narrowed slightly as he spoke again, this time in a much firmer tone. "Beyond is _dead_, L. There's nothing you can do for him."

L was quiet for a moment before replying so quietly that Light had to strain to hear the words. "You don't understand... You can't possibly understand."

"I do understand," Light assured.

"No," L disagreed, "you don't, Light-kun. Beyond..." L stared at his late brother, lips trembling along with the rest of his emotionally taxed body. "Beyond was my only family... I've already lost my parents, Light-kun, and that was horrible enough, but at least I still had Beyond. And now... now, he's gone too, and what do I have? I have nothing..."

Light's eyes remained on L's profile as he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. Hesitantly, he took another step forward, taking a chance and placing a hand down on L's shoulder again. "You have me," he said. "You'll always have me, L."

L turned his head to look up at him, his bloodshot eyes boring into him, skeptical. For a while, neither of them said anything, only continued to stare deeply into one another's eyes, attempting to exchange thoughts without the usage of words. Light gradually shifted his hand from L's shoulder to his wrist, and slowly he led his friend away from the casket.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Are you comfortable?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

L turned his head to the side to look at Light, whose head rested on the pillow beside his. "Yes. Are you comfortable, Light-kun?"

Light smiled and nodded in response. "I've slept in the same bed with you enough times to become used to it." Only after the comment left him did he realize how it could be interpreted and his cheeks reddened slightly. He opened his mouth, ready to apologize, but L spoke before he had the chance to.

"I'm sorry to be an inconvenience."

"No, it's not like that," Light insisted, propping himself up on his elbow, staring down at his friend. L stared up at him with a face as emotionless as ever; with his free hand, Light reached over and touched that face, caressing the flushed cheeks that were stained by dried tracks of tears. "I don't mind staying with you like this."

"I won't be staying long," L promised. "I'll start looking for a place tomorrow."

"Why don't you live here?" Light suggested.

"I couldn't. I... I couldn't take advantage of your family's generosity more than I already have."

"Taking advantage...?" Light sighed, moving his hand into L's hair, brushing back the thick black strands. "L, we've known each other for eight years; we all consider you family here."

L stiffened at the comment, his wide black eyes locking on Light's momentarily before he closed them tightly. When he spoke next, it was in a rushed, pained tone of voice. "I apologize if it seems rude, but I cannot bring myself to think of Light-kun and his family in the same way."

Light blinked and pulled his hand away, hurt by L's words. After all the years they spent growing closer together – after everything they'd been through, all those times Light held and comforted L – L didn't think they were that close? L didn't consider him family?

"_You love him, you want him to touch you..."_

Beyond's voice is the last thing Light wanted to hear at the moment, yet the words the man had spoken that one night (the night that changed everything, the day that led to Light's becoming a murderer) echoed in his head, casting a glow of enlightenment over his foggy mind.

_Oh... oh. _

"...Right."

L did not love him in the brotherly sense that Light loved him; rather, his love was something much greater than that.

"Please do not take it the wrong way," L said in his soft whisper of a voice. He was no longer looking at Light, but at the window on the far right wall of the bedroom. "But my family is dead, Light-kun. I feel as though it would dishonor their memory to now consider other people my family."

"I understand."

"Do you, Light-kun?"

"Of course... But I still hope you realize that you're welcome to stay here, even though you feel that way."

L gave a faint smile, reaching one of his hands to the side, brushing it against Light's and gently curling his fingers around his palm. Light glanced over at him, smiling as well and holding L's hand tightly in return.

"Thank you, Light-kun."

"You're welcome. Please try to get some sleep now."

L nodded his head, replying that he would try. Light took this to mean that L would probably remain awake for the rest of the night, but he didn't say anything further to his friend, only closed his eyes and attempted to fall asleep – because unlike L, he knew he needed it; he needed the answers to his problems to come to him in a dream.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The next day, L returned from the several day vacation that the school had allowed him due to the circumstances. Whispers followed him everywhere he went – L didn't seem to take any notice of them, but Light (who was at his side whenever his schedule allowed) did. Light caught on to the fact that whenever he and L entered a class, a hush would fall over the room and last until the two of them took their usual seats; after that, a low hum of conversation would steadily rise once again. Most of the conversations began the same way.

"_His brother died, you know."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah, just last week. Dropped dead out of the blue."_

"_Freaky."_

"_Tell me about it. Weirdest thing I ever heard." _

And most of them ended the same way, when Light would overhear a comment such as: _"Do you think L...?"_ and interrupt rudely by either coughing loudly or slamming his textbook down on the desk.

They still talked, and the rumors still spread – _("That foreign boy is a witch; he killed his brother, I swear it! Cast a spell on him and gave him that heart attack!")_ – but at least Light could get them to shut up a majority of the time.

If L was hurt by what was being said about him, he didn't let it show. He went from class to class, face unchangingly stoic, saying nothing other than quiet expressions of thanks whenever someone offered him their condolences.

During lunch hour, L and Light sat on top of the roof of the main school building, across from each other – L facing the wall and Light facing the sky. They sat with their legs outstretched and the tips of their shoes touching. Two small bento boxes sat in between them, filled with rice and an assortment of different rolls lovingly prepared for them by Light's mother. L picked at the food sparingly, obviously hesitant to eat a lunch made for him by someone he wasn't used to. Light knew that making L's lunch was something Beyond had always done; it was one of the things he had actually enjoyed and insisted on doing for his brother.

After swallowing a bite of salmon, L reached down with his chopsticks, his hand seeming to have a set destination before stopping suddenly over a rice ball. "Oh... no jelly rolls," he said to himself, looking into the contents of the lunchbox as if make sure he they really weren't there.

Light blinked, glancing into the lunchbox as well. His mother never made jelly rolls; what was L expecting? "I'll ask my mom to make them tomorrow."

L shook his head and set his chopsticks down. "No, no, it's fine."

Sighing in exasperation, Light set his own chopsticks aside and folded his arms across his chest. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Light-kun."

"Don't give me that."

L looked at him but didn't say anything. Frowning, Light drew his legs back and crossed them. L stared at his shoes as though surprised that their connection had been severed.

Light exhaled loudly, not knowing what to do. He knew what the problem was (the problem had not changed; it was still Beyond, it would always be Beyond) but the solution alluded him this time around. He couldn't hold L, couldn't really comfort him while he was weighed down by the guilt of being part of the problem. The Death Note was of no use to him anymore and, really, as Light thought about it, he couldn't really say that it had been useful to him at all. The prospect of the Notebook was great; it provided an instant answer to a fetal dilemma. But had it really helped him? L was no better off now than he had been while Beyond was alive, and if anything his and Light's friendship was more strained than it had ever been.

"Talk to me," Light pleaded.

L pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees to lock them in place. "There's nothing to talk about, Light-kun. I'm just not feeling well."

"You need to get over this." It was a selfish thing of him to be saying, Light knew that, but the only reason he said it was because he hated to see L so depressed (and over the likes of someone like Beyond).

L gave a tiny half-smile. "Give me some time. Please, Light-kun."

"What happened that night?"

The smile disappeared, L's expression darkening somewhat. "Stop, Light-kun."

Light shook his head. This had gone on long enough and he needed answers; if L wouldn't tell him willingly, then he would press on and on and he would force the truth out of him, if need be. "What happened?"

"Light-kun, I'm asking as your friend, please stop."

"As your friend, I have a right to know!"

"No!" L cried. "No, you don't. I don't have to tell you anything!"

Light was unable to grasp why L was pushing him away like this. In the past, L always came to him, to cry on his shoulder (in a sense). Why was he suddenly putting this distance between them?

"Why can't you talk to me, L? You always used to talk to me."

L bit down on his lower lip before bowing his head, hiding his face against his knees. "This is different, Light-kun."

"If you just talked about it..."

"It's too personal." Sighing softly, L's eyes darted upwards to lock with Light's momentarily. His lips twitched downwards as he noticed that Light was glaring back at him. "Light-kun –"

"Forget it. If you don't want my help, then fine."

Without another word, Light took hold of his back pack and stood up, slinging the strap over his shoulder and beginning to storm away.

"L-Light-kun, wait! Please..."

But Light didn't wait, only allowed his feet to carry him back to the door that led to the stairwell. Once behind the safety of the door, he slammed his fist against the wall, cursing to himself and trying to ignore the pain that shot up his arm as a result of the rash action.

Things weren't supposed to be like this! His sacrifice... his _sacrifice_... L was supposed to be happy. And instead, they were both miserable.

Slowly turning to face the door again, Light watched through the small rectangular window as L – now kneeling humbly on the pavement – carefully packed up the lunchboxes left behind by Light, going as far as to even wrap them back up in the silky blue and read cloths that Light's mother covered them with that same morning.

Closing his eyes, Light moved away from the door, making his way back downstairs to the classroom, unable to help thinking he'd made yet another huge mistake.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Light didn't speak to L for the rest of the school day. L, for the most part, didn't seem to mind this as he'd been so silent as of yet anyways, but still Light could tell that receiving the Cold Shoulder bothered him.

On several occasions, he made blatant attempts to capture Light's attention – gazing at him intensely, flicking notes onto his desk, and even sending text messages to his phone – and each time Light stared coolly back at him and either crumbled the note in his fist or deleted the text without even reading it. It was childish of him and it wouldn't solve anything, but Light never claimed to be the most mature person in the world. He was hurt by L's refusal to tell him about what was really going on, offended that L didn't trust him enough to confide in him.

After L spent so much time ignoring him when he wanted to talk, why should Light turn around and open his arms now that L had something to say? L was his best friend, but Light didn't think he had any reason to be nice to him right now. Beyond was dead (thanks to him) and Light supposed that it was awful (and that he never should have written his name in the Death Note, never should have even touched the Death Note) and that L was allowed to grieve for a while; but to push him aside, when all he wanted to do (when all he'd ever done in the past, what all he wanted to continue to do) was help L...

They clambered onto the bus at three-thirty that afternoon, and since there was only one seat available Light allowed L to take it. L, however, remained standing, staring at Light while chewing absentmindedly on his thumbnail.

"What is it?" Light snapped, hating to be pinned under that black-hole gaze.

L smiled, or tried to at least. "I want Light-kun to talk to me," he admitted.

"Why?" Light replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's not like we have anything to say to each other. Every time I try to talk to you, you brush me off."

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

L lowered his gaze sadly, making no effort to deny it now and Light rolled his eyes. They both stood before the empty chair, both too stubborn to actually sit down on it and yet never offering it to anyone else.

Several minutes passed in silence between them, which Light spent staring out the window, watching buildings and other vehicles zoom by, until he felt a gentle tug on the cuff of his shirtsleeve.

"What is it?" he asked, quietly, shifting his backpack from his left shoulder to his right as he noticed that they were nearing their stop.

"Can we go to the park?"

Taken off guard by the strange question, Light's brows furrowed. "Why do you want to go there?" They hadn't visited the park in years; the last time Light could remember going there was when they were still in junior high school and a part of the soccer team made up of all the boys from the neighborhood.

"To talk," L answered simply.

Shrugging his shoulders, Light replied, "fine."

They didn't get off at their usual stop, but rather waited until the next one before exiting the bus. The park was a full two minute walk from the bus stop, if even that; L and Light made the short trek in silence, and once they reached the park both automatically headed in the same direction – the spot where the old playground used to be, where they first met all those years ago. The playground had long since been taken down, a large tree was planted in its place.

The two friends sat side-by-side in the long shadow the tree cast, neither looking at the other and instead opting to focus their attention straight ahead. The minutes ticked by without either of them speaking, and Light wondered what was going through L's mind at that moment. Just as he was about to open his mouth to ask, however, L suddenly spoke, blurting out exactly what had been troubling him so much the past few days (aside from the obvious fact of Beyond's death).

"I think I killed him."

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_Send the spent ghost on its way to that soothing oblivion. The miracle ending. _

_...But then what?  
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* * *

_Lawli: Poor L, he never gets a break in this story it seems, huh? And Poor Light, too.. his sacrifice has pretty much been in vain. D:_

_Please review and tell me what you think of the chapter! And point out any errors you may find, I didn't get the chance to proof-read it too well. _


	5. Sorry

_Lawli: Sorry it's taken so long for me to update this!! It being summer and all, I've let myself get really lazy -- not only with my fics, but with school as well. Turns out I've been slacking so much that I might not pass my summer course (which is required for my major, sadly). D: Thus, I must put fanfics on the back burner for a couple of weeks so I can bring my grade up._

_A few of you said you had theories about what L meant by saying what he did at the end of the last chapter. I wish you'd have told me what they were, but oh well. You'll find out what he meant in this chapter, and if it wasn't what you were expecting, I'd love to know what you were expecting! _

_Enjoy the chapter! _

_Also... this Tuesday (June 17) is my birthday! I'll be turning 19 (oh my god I feel so old)!  
...Please leave a review on your way out as a birthday present??_

_:D?_

* * *

**in the land where no-one smiles  
-IV-**

_"You want this. I know you want it. The ancient release. The great letting go."_

* * *

Light didn't know what to say. He stared at his best friend, a look of wide-eyed disbelief on his face as the words repeated in his head over and over and over again. Clenching his fists tightly, Light grappled for words, finding that his extensive vocabulary had suddenly chosen to abandon him.

"D-don't say that, L," he finally managed to stumble out.

L wasn't a murderer. He wasn't capable of it, there was no way he would... especially his own brother, whom he loved more than anything. L couldn't kill. L wasn't like him, not at all; he would never do something so disgusting. At the mere thought, a strange mixture of emotions bubbled in the pit of his stomach, making Light feel as though he was going to throw up.

"I mean it, Light-kun, I—"

"The autopsy report said that—"

"He died of a heart attack," L finished softly, fisting the material of his uniform pants in his hands. He lowered his head and his bangs fell in front of his eyes, shielding them from view. "I know that."

Light didn't understand where L was going with this. "Then how...?"

L cut him off again, speaking in a voice so quiet that Light had to strain his ears in order to hear it.

"I wished for it." He bit down on his bottom lip, body trembling as a breeze suddenly picked up, making the leaves of the tree the pair sat under rustle in mock tranquility. "I wished for it... That night when he..." he couldn't bring himself to say the words, but of course Light knew which night he was referring to. "I wished that he would die."

Light couldn't believe what he was hearing. Never in all his life would he imagine L wishing death on someone. L was so selfless, such a genuinely good person. That he could wish for anyone's death – even someone like Beyond's – was just unthinkable.

Just because he might have wished for it, however, didn't mean that Beyond's premature death was L's fault. That blame weighed down fully on Light's shoulders, and he would not have L trying to carry that burden. L had been through so much already. Light didn't want him to hurt anymore.

"L, don't say that."

"It's true, Light-kun." L's body began to shake more fiercely, as if all he'd bottled up, all he'd suppressed, was threatening to burst free. L gripped his knees tightly, trying to keep a hold of himself.

Light remained silent for a brief period of time, contemplating how to comfort his friend, how to get this ludicrous idea out of L's mind. L wasn't guilty; he'd never been guilty. Light was the culprit – and even more so than him, Beyond. Beyond was the criminal. Beyond was the one who truly hurt people. Beyond was the one who... the one who _deserved_ to...

"_No one deserves to die, Light-kun."_

Light shook his head to try and clear the thought from his mind, because he_ had _done the right thing. It was a sin – the worst sin imaginable, taking another's life – but it was the right thing to do. _It was the right thing to do._

"L, I want you to stop this," Light said, his tone stern as if he were chastising a small child – and in a way, he was; L couldn't be an adult, an adult didn't need protection, an adult didn't need their best friend to get rid of the monsters under the bed (the monsters in the bed). "Beyond... Beyond died of a heart attack. Natural causes. There's no way that you could have known, or that you could have caused it."

"But I—"

"_No_, L. You didn't do anything. You feel guilty that you're alive, and that's normal but it's not okay because now you're blaming yourself for something you had no control over!"

"But he died—"

"It was his time to go."

"He died thinking I hated him!"

L grasped the rosary around his neck, his eyes wide and seeming to quiver within their sockets, and Light smiled sadly, hoping bitterly that Beyond had died thinking such a thing because it would have tortured him.

"He died thinking... the last thing I said to him... _I hate you_... That's what I... that's the last thing. What he remembered, he thought I hated him and now I can't..." Tears were beginning to drip from his eyes. "I c-can't... I can't tell him it's not true."

L was sobbing now, the rosary clasped tightly in his hands, the crucifix pressed against his bottom lip as he begged for forgiveness. Light stared, uncertain, as he'd never seen his friend break down like this.

"God, pray for my soul..."

Light reached over and grabbed L's shoulders, shaking them roughly. "L, stop it! This isn't your fault! This isn't... it was..." _It was me! I'm guilty, I'm a murderer, pray for __**my**__ soul!_ "It was his time to go."

L gazed up at him with blank eyes, like he knew it was a lie – like he knew they_ both_ knew it was a lie. Beyond was a normal, healthy young man. It wasn't his time.

Moving so that his arms were now wrapped around L's shoulders, Light pulled him closer, into an embrace that felt awkward for both of them. L was still crying, though it was softer now. Light guided L's head to rest on his chest, consequently dragging the rest of L's body into his lap, and held him silently, hiding his face in his friend's unruly hair.

"I'm here for you," he whispered. "I'm here and I... I'll always be here, L."

L gripped the front of his shirt; one of Light's hands fell to rest against the small of his back.

"I'll always be here."

"Light-kun..."

L tilted his head back slightly, locking eyes with him, and for a moment they just gazed into one another, the wind rustling their hair and the early evening sun coloring their cheeks.

Before either of them realized, their lips had connected in a ghost of a kiss. Light's eyes widened, his breath catching as he came to his senses. The immediate response was to pull away, but L kept him from acting on that impulse by laying a hand on Light's cheek, caressing the soft skin as his lips lingered on Light's. L's fingers crept back, brushing against Light's hair, as he tried to deepen the kiss, increasing the pressure against Light's lips desperately.

"L..."

The utterance was swallowed by L's mouth. Light gasped, his mind drawing a complete blank. His grip around the other teen slackened, body unresponsive even as L furthered his advances by straddling him.

"Beyond..."

The name of L's brother was enough to jerk Light from his stupor. He wrenched his lips away, breathing heavily as the blood rushed to his face. "L, stop it," he said, but L didn't listen. He tried again to kiss Light, speaking against his half-opened mouth as he did so.

"I should love Beyond like this, Light-kun, I... I should have."

He tilted his head and Light leaned back to get away from the unwanted attention. He loved L, L was his best friend (and possibly, _possibly_ something more), but... like this... Not like this...

All he could see was Beyond, hovering over L – ravaging L, breaking him...

"But I... for whatever reason, I... It's always been you."

L broke the kiss slowly, raising his eyes hesitantly. Light started back down at him, mouth agape and heart hammering in his chest, thinking, _did this really just happen_?

"I'm sorry," L finally whispered, black-hole eyes falling shut.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As promised, L did not stay at the Yagami residence very long. Within a week following the incident at the park (which Light insisted they not discuss again, after L tried apologizing profusely for his behavior and a quite flustered Light mumbled for him not to worry about it) L managed to find an apartment relatively close by. Money hadn't been a problem for him – in addition to what he'd inherited from his parents a decade ago he now also had the money left to him from Beyond – but still he'd chosen an apartment designed for people with a moderately low income.

"_What do I need a nice place for?" _he asked when Mrs. Yagami pointed this out on the day L decided to give them a tour. _"It's not like I have anyone to share it with."_

It was strange not having L in the house any longer. Even though the last few days with him had been uncomfortable to the point where the two boys stiffened up if left alone in the same room, now Light found himself wishing for the awkward company. It wasn't as though he never saw L – they still got to see each other every day at school – but riding the bus by himself was not something Light was accustomed to. Now that L lived in a completely different neighborhood it was understandable that he would be using a new bus for a more convenient means of transportation, but still Light hadn't expected it and it took quite a bit of time to get used to not having anyone to talk to (even if, for the last week or so, they hadn't really been talking very often at all).

Their conversations were infrequent and tended to follow the same format every time:

Light would ask L how he was doing, if he was warming up to his new apartment, and L would respond with a nod and say something along the lines of how it was a small place but he was growing fond of it, and that the elderly widow who lived next door baked him another batch cookies and brought them over that morning before he left for school and they were so delicious that he actually packed some for lunch; L then in return questioned how things were at Light's house, and Light would honestly tell L that his presence was sorely missed and how his mother and Sayu (especially Sayu) wished that he would visit more often, like he used to; they would then fall into silence, one trying to catch the other's eye and the other pointedly avoiding making contact, until the bell rang or something else diverted their attention.

Sometimes, on the rare occasion that it was just the two of them, L would grab Light's hands and press them to his lips as if they were the crucifix of the rosary that hung around his neck and he was praying for forgiveness. When this happened, Light stood still, not knowing what to do because only God had the power to forgive people. Eventually he would end up hugging L tightly, burying his nose in L's wild black hair as he'd done that day underneath the tree before L kissed him and inhaling deeply, not saying a word in response to the constant _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, _because, really, what could he – he, who'd committed far worse sins – possibly say?

The days passed at a snail's pace, lack of company and normal conversation with his best friend seeming to make the minutes tick by excruciatingly slow. L decided to make Wednesday and Saturday the two days of the week that he would spend at the Yagami residence.

On both days he would meet Light at his house and stay for dinner and then leave promptly afterwards. Mrs. Yagami always tried to convince him to stay the night but L always declined and Light (who hated himself for secretly feeling uncomfortable with the idea of sharing a bed with L after L tried to kiss him) never got involved in aiming to make him change his mind. Until the moment came when L announced he had to leave, however, they generally had a good time. Often Light found himself thinking that things were beginning to return to a state of normalcy, but then L would catch his eye, or they would accidentally brush against each other, and he would freeze up all over again.

Light's family noticed the change between how the two acted around each other. His mother tried to talk to him about it once, but Light shut her out. He couldn't tell her, it was too complicated. Light himself couldn't even comprehend the mess that was his and L's relationship. Their problems were much greater than the fact that L had kissed him, much greater than Light's confusion over where exactly his feelings for L lay. In the past, Light would have been able to put that behind him – L's advances and his own mind-boggling emotions – but now, now that Light couldn't even look at L without seeing Beyond's face, everything had changed.

L still blamed himself. He was the one who always tried to apologize – to Light (for kissing him, for screwing things up; he hadn't meant to do that), to Beyond (for saying he hated him; he didn't hate him, he still loved him so much and he wished every day that he was there). Light always felt the desire to grab L by the neck and throttle him for being so naïve, but he didn't. He left him to his prayers because he could never tell him the truth; more than anything, Light knew, it would break him if L were to ever learn of the fact that his best friend was responsible for his brother's death.

As painful as Wednesday and Saturday nights tended to get, Light found himself looking forward to them anyways. Even if it was mostly spent in discomfited silence, the time he spent with L was precious since it was now so limited. He always raced to the bus stop on those afternoons, and usually it arrived on time, though sometimes it didn't – and when it didn't, instead of waiting around Light would decide to walk (sprint) home.

Several months later on a cloudy Saturday afternoon, the bus happened to be late and Light had resorted to running through the streets, his jacket pulled up over his head as a shield against the light rain that drizzled from the sky. His book bag dug into his shoulder, heavier than normal thanks to final exams approaching, and he tried not to grimace at the thought that he still had four more blocks to go.

The signal for the intersection he was stopped at just turned green and as he was about to make his way across the street a motorcycle sped by, disregarding the pedestrian signal entirely as well as the angry jeers of the several other people who had been attempting to cross the street along with Light (who was too busy grimacing at the fact that his uniform had just gotten soaked with the water kicked up by the motorcycle's wheels to bother yelling at the reckless driver). He shook his head and once again endeavored to cross the street, his eyes following the motorcycle as it screeched to a halt in front of a corner store.

"_Hey, hey, pretty lady!_"

It was unfortunately the route he had to take to get home, and so Light walked in the direction of the convenience store. Soon, the motorcycle was back in his line of vision (along with two more, which must have been waiting there from the beginning) and Light was able to see that the driver had pushed up the sunglasses he wore in order to speak to a mousy young woman carrying an armful of shopping bags. The woman tried obviously to ignore the motorcyclist, but the man called out to her again.

"Where you goin? Come have a little fun with us!"

"That's our Taku for ya," sniggered one of the other motorcyclists. "This guy could spot a hottie a mile away!"

Light acted as though he didn't know what was going on, like anyone else who was on the street at the time, thinking that they would let the authorities deal with this.

"What's up, little lady? The name's Takuo Shibuimaru."

"Whaddya say? Come an' hang out with us, pretty lady!"

"Please, I-I don't want any trouble," the woman replied.

Light gripped the strap of his book bag tightly, telling himself to just keep walking. It wasn't as though he could do anything to stop these guys. It would be three against one, and even if it was just that Taku guy Light knew he didn't stand a chance; he was fairly strong, but any of those men would easily be able to overpower him.

"Ya hear that, ha-ha, she doesn't want trouble – isn't that cute, ha-ha!"

There was nothing he could do.

Taku got off his bike and the woman took a step back, wanting to run even if she knew the man could effortlessly catch up to her.

The authorities would deal with this.

"Hold her arms!" Taku demanded. "Strip her down right here."

"Please... don't..."

There was nothing...

Light closed his eyes, hearing only L's frantic voice in his head.

"_Please, Beyond... don't—"_

...But there _was._

He brought the notebook with him everywhere, terrified of someone else accidentally learning of its existence. Not once since he'd written Beyond's name had he used it or even considered using it. But now, as he watched the scene unfold out of the corner of his eye, picturing in his mind all the while L on his back with Beyond hovering over him on all fours, kissing and touching him everywhere, he could feel that familiar sick sensation boiling inside of him. He'd ignored it the first time, for a little while at least, but now... now that almost the exact same situation was happening again before his eyes, he couldn't allow himself to just walk on by.

_But I can't use the notebook. Not again, I can't... I don't know this woman._

"_B-Beyond..."_

_L..._

Light looked over at the woman and suddenly saw L, his uniform pants being torn down to expose his skinny white legs which he kicked in a futile attempt to break free of Beyond's strong hold. Light's eyes widened, locking with the woman's eyes (which he now only saw as L's empty black irises) that clearly begged _save me_.

"L..."

For L he could kill – for L, he _had_ killed.

Without thinking, Light pulled the notebook and a pen out from his backpack. His breathing grew erratic as he flipped through it and reached the page on which he'd written the name of L's brother.

_**B-E-Y-O-N-D B-I-R-T-H D-A-Y**_

Some people deserved to die. They were a hazard to others, and even if there were people who would miss them the world would be a better place with them gone.

L would hate him, if he ever knew, but –

Light touched his pen to the notebook paper and began to write.

—but that was okay. Because... in the end, Light was doing a good thing.

In the end, Light was doing the world a favor.

He was doing what was right.

_**T-A-K-U-O S-H-I-B-U-I-M-A-R-U**_

_Forty seconds._

* * *

_"You want this. I know you want it. The ancient release. The great letting go."_

* * *

_Lawli: From here on, this fic will show more elements from the actual series. But I'm still trying to keep it on a slightly different path so that I don't just re-write the series and bore you all to death._

_See you next chapter. Until then...please leave me a birthday present review??_


	6. Shinigami

_Lawli: First of all - THANKS SO MUCH to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! I had a great birthday, thanks in part to all of your wonderful reviews! -hugs for everyone-_

_I really wanted to update this sooner, but July was so hectic for me - finals for my summer Stats classed (which I passed, by some miracle!), Metrocon, Lobster Mini Season, and getting a new job. I've been swamped. D: I finally forced myself to just sit down and write this chapter, because it's been way too long since the last update._

_I'd like to give a big thanks to my friend **Mariposa137**, who proof-read this chapter for me._

_Hope all of you enjoy the chapter! Prepare for another emotional rollercoaster... Please read and review!_

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**in the land where no-one smiles  
****-V-**

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_We're on this slide now, and gravity never gives up what it has claimed.  
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Light didn't wait around to see the effect of writing Takuo Shibuimaru's name in the Death Note; he knew very well what would happen. As soon as the name was written Light snapped the Notebook shut and quickly left, trying to act natural as though he hadn't just sentenced a man to death. As he rounded the corner he heard what could only be a body dropping to the ground.

"_Taku? Hey, T-Taku, what the hell?!"_

Light ran the rest of the way home, his thoughts racing with him. The Notebook was clutched tightly to his chest, its unprotected back cover getting soaked by the rain that continued to leak from the gray clouds overhead.

When he reached his house, he didn't stop to greet anyone. Without even pausing to take off his water-logged shoes, Light made his way up to his bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him. His book bag fell from his shoulder, landing at the corner of his desk as he sat down. After setting the Death Note face-down on the desk, Light leaned forward, burying his face in his hands.

Only now that he was beginning to settle down from the exhilaration of running such a distance so quickly did the realization of why he had been running in the first place catch up with him.

_Oh, God..._

One of his hands darted to cover his mouth, acid burning in his throat as his lunch threatened to expel from his body.

_Two people, I've... I've killed two people._

How could he have allowed himself to use the Notebook a second time? It didn't matter that he'd saved a woman from being assaulted; he didn't know that woman, it wasn't his job to protect her. Even if he had equated her to L, it wasn't right. Was it?

And that man, Takuo Shibuimaru... Light didn't know anything about him – about what kind of person he was. He could have a wife, a family (it wasn't very likely, but it was still possible). So he was about to do something unforgivable... who was Light to deem that worthy of the death penalty? Who was Light to _judge_ him?

No, no... He couldn't keep thinking that way. He'd made his decision and he couldn't take it back now, even if he wanted to. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do – the most moral thing to do – but he couldn't beat himself up about it or else he'd go crazy from guilt.

He needed to focus on the positive aspects of his actions.

He'd helped a woman, saved her from being raped. And perhaps Takuo's sudden death set an example to the men with him.

Light tried to reassure himself with these facts, and after he'd spent several minutes telling himself he'd done absolutely nothing wrong, he felt better. A tiny smile crossed his features as he placed a hand on the Death Note, running his fingers gently over the spine.

_I had a right to judge him_, he decided, brows furrowing. _I did. I _did_. If I hadn't done something, she would have been... No one else would have done anything! I was the only one who... the only one who could__do anything! I wasn't wrong!_

"Light-kun?"

Light snapped out of his thoughts, spinning the chair towards the door. L stood there, a look of concern on his face.

"Are you okay?" he was asking as he took a hesitant step further into the bedroom.

Light glanced down at the Death Note, wondering if it was safe to leave it out in the open like this. Of course L wouldn't suspect anything of a simple book, but still Light didn't want to take any chances, and so he slid the Notebook into the top drawer of his desk.

"I'm fine. Sorry, I just... I wasn't feeling very well. That's why I came straight up here."

"Oh." L rubbed his elbow, staring down at the floor, looking as though he wanted to say something but not daring to.

Light could read the expression easily enough; he knew L long enough to usually know what was on L's mind without having to ask him. "Don't apologize."

L's head jerked upward, his otherwise blank eyes portraying his surprise. "L-Light-kun, I wasn't—"

"You were," Light insisted. L should know better than to lie to him. Even if they weren't as close as they used to be, Light still knew him better than any living soul.

L opened his mouth to argue but then promptly snapped it shut. There was nothing for him to deny. They gazed at each other silently for a short amount of time before Light slowly rose from his chair. Seeing him approach, L took a step back and Light paused, hurt by the retreat.

"Your... your mother wanted me to tell you that dinner's ready." L turned away, beginning to walk out the door when Light stopped him with a hand on his forearm. "L-Light-kun..?"

Light didn't say anything at first – didn't know what he could say, or even what he wanted to say. He wanted to apologize, because really he was the cause of this cavernous distance between them. He didn't want L to go on thinking this was his fault, to go on drowning in guilt when Light had the ability to rescue him this time.

Fingers pressing gently into L's arm, Light guided him backwards, pulling the smaller teen against him. L shivered (whether from the touch or the fact that Light's clothes were still wet from the rain, Light didn't know), unable to bring himself to look over his shoulder at Light. There was a distinctly awkward quality to the air around them.

Light sighed, closing his eyes and burying his nose in L's hair. The silky black tresses had the sweet scent of strawberries that Light always associated with his friend.

He hated this – hated the wall that separated them. Light wanted his friend back. L was the only one Light was willing to sacrifice for; he was the only one who mattered. To have him so close yet, at the same time, so far away, killed Light. To have him in his arms and still feel as though they were miles apart..

Slowly, L's hands came to rest over one of his own. Amber eyes blinked open to stare at the adjoined appendages.

"It can't be the same, can it?" Light asked. L squeezed his hand gently as a response and Light shook his head. "But I want it to be. I don't want things to stay like this, L, I–"

"Light-kun—"

Light didn't give him the chance to interrupt, speaking over him. "I'm selfish. I'm so selfish, because I just..."

What was he _saying_? He sounded like some lovesick fool pining for a lost lover who moved on already. But weren't the positions supposed to be reversed? L was the one who had feelings for _him_, not the other way around. All his life Light had viewed L as his best friend, occasionally likening him to a brother but never anything more than that.

But ever since L kissed him, things hadn't been the same. Ever since L kissed him, Light felt... differently.

"I just want..."

What _did_ he want?

"Light-kun."

L stepped out of his arms.

"L..."

This time, it was L who did not give him the chance to finish.

"Things can't be like they were before," he said softly. "They just... they _can't _be. And it's my fault, I know that. I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have ever... but I did, I can't fix it now, and we can't go back to a time before that, Light-kun. But I'm..."

He turned around to face Light, an unreadable emotion in his dark eyes. "I'm selfish too."

Light felt something rush through him, a strange thrill of excitement that seemed to grow more intense with each second he stared into L's wide eyes. He remembered the way L kissed him that one afternoon that felt as though it were an entire lifetime ago, and couldn't decide if that was what he wanted again. If those desperate lips against his own were something he desired to feel a second time.

L's lips curled into the slightest of smiles. "I'd like to start visiting more than twice a week."

Light swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to figure out why he suddenly felt so nervous. "I'd like that too."

The smile widened a fraction and L reached out, taking his hand and tugging on it. "Dinner's ready."

Wordlessly Light followed, not bothering to change out of his damp clothes because he didn't want to break the connection of their hands. They'd held hands in the past, but this was different – for many reasons, not just because of the strange fluttering of his heart. One of the things Light just couldn't push out of his mind was the softness of L's fingers (something which he'd never really noticed before).

He tried not to think of the fact that his own hand, now gripped so innocently by L's smaller one, had already been the cause of two people's deaths.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dinner was relatively uneventful. Light sat between Sayu and L (which his family commented on smilingly, since as of late L had been sitting next to Sayu).

"It's nice to see you two getting along again," Light's mother said. "We were getting worried." Light and L exchanged looks before shrugging practically in unison, which only further amused her.

"I hope this means you'll be visiting more often," Sayu said, grinning widely. "We've missed you, you know."

L's smile was a sad one. Light stared at him out of the corner of his eyes. He didn't know exactly what compelled him to do it, but he silently reached under the table, brushing his hand against L's. His friend's eyes grew a fraction larger, the reaction so miniscule that it went unnoticed to everyone save for Light, who showed no change in expression.

"If it's not too much trouble," L finally answered. Under the table, his fingers curled around Light's.

Light tried not to think about it, for too many strange feelings arose when he did. There were far more important things to focus on besides the strange budding emotions he felt towards his lifelong friend. Furthermore, the thought of what those emotions might develop into frightened him, so he preferred to give them as little attention as possible for the time being.

Still, he held L's hand until the end of dinner, when he was forced to let go to help clear the table.

As he brought the dishes to the sink, his father left for the sitting room to watch the news. L followed him and, once the table was cleared, so did Light. The brunette sat on the brown leather couch beside his father while L situated himself on the plush armchair on the left side of the room.

The news brought up one horror after another, but the air of the room was more peaceful than it had been in a long while. A tiny smile graced Light's features as he reclined on the couch, resting his arms behind his head comfortably.

This was how it should be: he and L – as friends – relaxing after a delicious dinner. Emotions shouldn't be allowed to infiltrate this serene place they'd create.

And neither should the rottenness of the world outside.

Kidnapping, assault, bank robbery...

Light closed his eyes, trying not to let stories of the latest Kanto lowlifes ruin his good mood.

"Thirty-seven-year-old Takuo Shibuimaru died of a heart attack at exactly 14:53 this afternoon outside of a local convenience store. Shibuimaru was the eldest son of Makoto and Ai Shibuimaru, a good man and a beloved friend of many..."

The newscaster continued to talk about Takuo for several more minutes – explaning how Takuo's friends described him to be in perfect health before the unexplained heart attack, but Light couldn't listen to her anymore, too disgusted. He resisted the urge to snort loudly.

If nowadays a rapist could qualify as a good man, the world was in an even worse state than he ever imagined.

"Heart attack," L whispered from the arm chair on the other side of the room.

Both Light and his father glanced over at L, equally worried about how he would react. L sat still, his head bowed.

"How sad," he finally said.

Light's father quickly shut the television off, saying, "I think that's enough of the news for tonight."

Light nodded his head in agreement. L didn't say anything for a moment, and then:

"Beyond was healthy too. Too healthy for a heart attack." His voice dropped to a whisper. "It's strange."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Light tried to ignore the niggling feeling of culpability.

_He was right, he was right, he was right!_

"Maybe it's judgment."

Light looked over at L curiously. "Judgment?" he repeated.

L bobbed his head in affirmation. "I know you don't believe in God, Light-kun. Neither do I, really." Yet he still wore that rosary, red like Beyond's eyes, around his neck.

"Don't be stupid," Light said quickly, looking down at the floor, his amber eyes dancing.

L saw it as judgment as well? Punishing the wicked – or someone deemed wicked? That meant L acknowledged his brother's sins – realized that he was deserving of such a fate. The thought that L actually agreed with his view elated Light.

But wasn't it L who told him that, regardless of the crimes they might commit, no-one deserved to die? Was his friend experiencing a true change of heart, or was he simply not aware of what he was saying?

"Sorry," L replied. "It was just a thought." After turning his head to check what time the clock on the wall read, he got up off the chair and stretched, his vertebrae cracking upon being straightened. "I should probably be going."

"I'll walk you."

Light said the words without even realizing it, standing from the couch. L's charcoal eyes found his questioningly and Light just smiled in return. Having no objection to this, L went and said goodbye to Sayu and Sachiko before fetching his old sneakers and stepping into them.

"Let's go, Light-kun," he said, watching as Light finished zipping up his cream-colored jacket.

It was no longer raining outside, but the night air was chilly. Thankfully by this point, Light's clothing had sufficiently dried. They walked side-by-side on the nearly deserted road, arms touching every once and a while. Neither said a word, but perhaps words weren't really needed. They were feeling more comfortable with each other. Things seemed almost as they had been before everything with Beyond and the Death Note.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Light returned home later that evening, he'd gone straight up to his room after pausing briefly to tell his mother and sister that he was home (his father was already asleep on the couch by this point). Sayu had tried to corner him and ask about what was going on between him and L, but thankfully she'd bought into the lie Light fed her about still having some homework to finish and let him go without much complaint.

After reaching his bedroom, Light proceeded to change into his pajamas – a plain white short-sleeved shirt and a pair of blue pajama bottoms that almost matched the color of his bedspread – before reaching into the top drawer of his desk and extracting the Death Note, which he carried back over to the bed and sat down with, beginning to flip through the pages slowly.

There were a dozen or more pages of rules before the blank lined portion of the Notebook, not even half of which Light had read through by this point. Many of the rules struck the teen as irrelevant or just plain inconceivable, however considering the actual Notebook itself did as it advertised, Light couldn't bring himself to dismiss any of the rules as impossible.

It was irresponsible of him to have not read all of the rules before using the Notebook, but now that he had the idea of Judgment in his mind he figured it was the best time to take a look at them.

_--The person in possession of the Death Note is possessed by a God of Death, its original owner, until they die._

Light blinked, tilting his head to the side as he stared down at the first rule on page four. "Shinigami?" he whispered. He'd been in possession of the Death Note for several weeks now, and no such thing had appeared before him.

_--If a human uses the Note, a God of Death usually appears in front of him/her within 39 days after he/she uses the Note._

Light's lips quirked into a tiny smile, tempted not to believe any of this but knowing better than to disregard the rules. "It must have been a lazy Shinigami who owned this thing," he said to himself, turning to the next page. What the Notebook stated about the Death Gods was interesting, but not relevant when it came to instructions for using the Death Note.

Outside, the weather was worsening yet again. There was a crash of lightening, followed by a boom of thunder.

"**Not lazy... just distracted.**"

The voice was so unexpected that it caused Light's heart to seize up, making him believe in a moment of panic that he was experiencing a heart attack like he'd inflicted upon Takuo Shibuimaru and Beyond Birth Day. A sharp cry escaped him as he tumbled sideways off of the bed, the Death Note forgotten on the sheets as both hands shot out to protect him from hitting the floor too hard.

Laughter rang in his ears as Light opened his eyes and slowly sat up. His heart was still racing, but thankfully it hadn't stopped. Light placed a hand over the left side of his chest to reassure himself that it was still beating strongly, as he raised his eyes to meet those of the one who had spoken and was now chuckling gleefully.

The only way to describe it would be by calling it a monster. Gargantuan in size, the creature had pale blue skin and eyes that were bulgy and yellow like some kind of nocturnal animal. It was dressed in all black, and it's blue-painted lips were curved upward in what seemed to be a perpetual grin.

"Wh-what the hell?!"

The thing continued to smile stupidly down at him, obviously amused by this entire situation. "**I was going to introduce myself sooner, but I didn't know if you were ever going to use the Notebook again or not**," it admitted before thrusting one clawed hand in Light's direction. Light stared at it with wide, slightly fearful eyes, not quite sure what to do. His insecurity only seemed to further entertain the creature, for it laughed loudly.

"**Name's Ryuk, and that's my Death Note you got.**"

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_We're on this slide now, and gravity never gives up what it has claimed.  
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_Lawli: Yay, Ryuk's finally made his appearance! I know some of you were wondering when he'd show up... _

_As always, if you notice any errors in spelling/grammar/etc, please point them out to me! Constructive criticism is always welcomed and appreciated! Please leave a review on your way out, it would make me very happy! :D_


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